just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
