how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
