Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize