Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
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Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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