I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Randomize
