I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
