one word: firstdatebathroomanal
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
