Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
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