I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
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