to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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