I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
