New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
