Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Randomize
