I accidentally burped into my bong.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
