Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
are you so shy because you have an std?
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you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize