Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
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