And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
