I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
