Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize