we were pretty classy up until the second keg
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
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Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
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My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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