Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I believe in your delicious
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
