Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
