When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
