Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Acid is not a monday night drug
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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