Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
this just has baby written all over it
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Randomize
