Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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