yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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