I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
