oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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