I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
ugly people sure do ruin things
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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