CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Holy shit dude........stairs
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
