I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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