Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
