I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
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