someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize