Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
