I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Randomize
