I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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