You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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