dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Randomize
