hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
