I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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