On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
