ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
