Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
