I didn't shave. On purpose
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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