Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
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