Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
