we're blogging at a bar
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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