yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
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