2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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