I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
A+ Viking dick
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
