I hope mine doesn't look like that
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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