is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
