my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
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