i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize