Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Randomize
