Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize
